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How to tell the children you are getting a divorce

On Behalf of | Sep 26, 2022 | Divorce

Going through a divorce is hard enough, but when there are children, one of the difficult aspects is telling them the news. They will react to the news in varying ways, depending on their personalities and ages, but it is important to remain united during the process.

According to Psychology Today, the key things are to prepare what you will say and to let them know it is not their fault.

Tell them together

It is best to tell them the news together. This shows them that even though you are no longer going to be a couple, you are still their parents and will both care for, and protect them.

Give general explanation as to why it is happening

You may feel that telling them the truth, or giving details, about why you are getting a divorce is important for transparency. However, it is better to give a general explanation without blaming the other parent.

Let them know how the divorce will affect their lives

Children of all ages want to know how their lives will change because of the divorce. Let them know what will stay the same and what will change. Let them know which parent will be moving out and when they can see him or her. If you are unsure about something, it is ok to say that you do not know at this time.

Answer their questions

According to Healthychildren.org, your children will probably have lots of questions. They may ask some of them right away, while others may come as the children process the information. Be honest and clear about your answers.

Reassure them

Children of all ages want to feel loved, safe and secure. Continue to reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that you both love them and will be there, no matter what.